Eyes, Ears and Tongue (Tools of Godly Communication)

God gave us eyes, ears and tongue. These are valuable communication tools. If we fail to reach out and use them, we may be judged as fools. None of us want to be judged as a fool by God so let’s talk about Godly communication for the next few minutes.

I want to stress that our communication will be most effective within a relationship. It’s hard to talk to people we don’t know or have never seen; we have more influence within a strong friendship or family than we do anywhere else.

Let’s look at the ways Jesus communicated and see if we can imitate Him. The first tool is our eyes. Amy Grant really summed up what I’d like to say in her song “Father’s Eyes.” Her one wish is that people will look at her life and say that she saw people as her Father in Heaven sees them.

According to my notes from “Nonverbal Communication” class at Harding, there are four functions of eye behavior. They are as follows:
1. Eye behavior establishes and defines relationships.
2. Eye behavior controls channels of communication.
3. Eye behavior displays emotion.
4. Eye behavior reduces distractions.

Eye behavior determines what kind of interaction you will have with someone. Eyes can invade space. Eye contact signals openness. If your eye behavior signals that you don’t care about someone, you won’t get very far in your communication with them.

Let’s look for a moment into the eyes of Jesus. How did He see people. A woman of Samaria is sitting at the well. Maybe she’s feeling a little lonely, angry, frustrated, abused. She feels very ugly. Yet, we know her appearance must be okay because five men have taken her as their wife. Along comes Jesus. He treats her in a way she’s never been treated before. He sees her with the eyes of forgiveness. He doesn’t look at the past sins; He shows her the potential of now. She can look in His eyes and see she is not a sex object to Him. This man Jesus IS truly a source of living water, and she tells many about him.

The Mission of Jesus, by Howard Belben, describes some other ways Jesus used His eyes. Jesus really loved people and He was slow to condemn them. He saw them as whole people and He saw them as they might be. We may be too quick in finding fault sometimes and need to remember the example of Jesus. The Christian who is easily shocked and quick to condemn will find it hard to win anyone from the wrong road.

One last thought about our eyes involves friendship. Martin E. Marty wrote a book called Friendship, and he points out that people do not make friends. They recognize them. Jesus saw the potential he had to be a friend, and He saw the potential others had. We should use eyes the same way today.
The second tool of Godly communication is our ears. We must do more than hearing. We must listen. We must not sit there and think of what we want to say next in the conversation when we need to hear what the person is saying to us. We must tune into them like we tune into a radio station and listen. It’s been said God gave us one mouth and two ears so we should do twice as much listening as we do talking. You don’t have to talk to be important in a relationship. Listening makes you invaluable to the other person, and other people will appreciate you a great deal for listening.

Howard Belben points out that Jesus listened to what other people had to say. He gives three reasons.
1. Part of our mission is to help people in any way we can. Many people are like corked up bottles and need us to uncork them. They need someone to listen and drink in what comes out of the bottle.
2. Unless we let people have their say, they will be restless when we are having ours. Please don’t be annoying like people I’ve met who do all the talking and none of the listening.
3. We must listen so we can start from where people are? How are you going to help a friend if you don’t know what the problem is?
The final tool is our tongue. We need to use the tongue very carefully. It isn’t just used for words. The way we say something may be more important than the words themselves.

Here are some suggestions:
1. Be open and honest. Friendship has a chance when you are open.
2. Ask favors of other people. Many lonely people would love to be useful. Jesus asked favors of those He met. He asked the woman at the well for water, and He asked Zacchaeus to slide down out of that tree so he could join Him.
3. Offer encouragement and friendship to others. I’d love to have heard what Jesus said to people, how He approached them and conveyed acceptance without approval of their lifestyle. The expression on His face, the tone of His voice, the time He was willing to give them: these must have all conveyed genuine friendship.

Most “active” Christians are so busy that they find it hard to find time for deep, rewarding friendships of any kind, and friendships with those far from the faith are ruled out altogether. So was Jesus busy, yet he found time.
In simple conclusion, see others with the eyes of forgiveness, listen to what they say and offer them an open door to friendship. Ephesians 4:29 tells us to build one another up according to the need of the moment. Let us seize those moments to communicate like Jesus.